Here are some basic practical examples incorporated into the steps:
1. Reflect on your needs: For example, if you’re feeling overwhelmed with work, you may need some assistance or a break to recharge.
2. Empathize with others: Imagine how your colleague might also be dealing with their own workload and pressures. Understand that they may have their own needs and limitations.
3. Choose the right time and place: Find a quiet moment when both you and your colleague are not in a rush or distracted by other tasks.
4. Use “I” statements: Instead of saying, “You never help me with anything,” try saying, “I feel overwhelmed with my workload, and I would appreciate some support.”
5. Be clear and specific: Clearly communicate what assistance you need, such as asking your colleague to help with a specific task or sharing some of the workload temporarily.
6. Be open to negotiation: Understand that your colleague may also have their own priorities and constraints. Find a compromise that works for both of you, such as dividing the tasks or setting a specific timeline for support.
7. Practice active listening: Listen attentively to your colleague’s concerns or limitations. Show understanding and be willing to adjust your expectations if necessary.
8. Show gratitude and appreciation: Express your gratitude for your colleague’s willingness to help. Let them know that their support means a lot to you.
9. Maintain a positive and respectful tone: Keep the conversation calm and respectful, even if there are differing opinions. Avoid blaming or attacking the other person.
10. Follow up and reciprocate: After receiving the assistance, follow up with your colleague to express your appreciation and let them know the outcome. Be ready to reciprocate when they have their own needs or requests in the future.
By incorporating these practical examples, you can better understand how to communicate your needs selflessly in real-life situations.
Here is an example
Sure! Here’s a simplified example using plain English that can be easily understood by year 5 children:
Sarah: Hi, Jack. Can we talk for a moment? I need to tell you something important.
Jack: Of course, Sarah. What’s up?
Sarah: Lately, I’ve been feeling really tired and overwhelmed with all the things I have to do at home. I was hoping we could figure out a way to help each other more.
Jack: I understand, Sarah. I want to support you. Can you tell me exactly what you need help with?
Sarah: Sure. It would be great if you could help me cook dinner a few times a week and also help with the laundry. That would make a big difference for me.
Jack: I get it, Sarah. I’ve been busy too, but I want to be there for you. How about I cook dinner on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and you can do the laundry on those same days?
Sarah: That sounds like a good plan, Jack. Thanks for being willing to work it out together. And if we both feel overwhelmed on any of those days, we can talk about it and find a solution that works for both of us.
Jack: Definitely, Sarah. Let’s make sure we talk to each other if things change or if we need to help each other differently. We want to make sure we both feel supported and happy.
Sarah: Thank you, Jack. I really appreciate your understanding and help. Let’s check in with each other regularly to make sure everything is going well.
Jack: You’re welcome, Sarah. I want us to be a good team and take care of each other. I’m glad you told me what you needed, and I promise to do my best to make things easier for you.
In this simplified example, Sarah talks to Jack about her needs, and they work together to find a solution. They discuss specific tasks, create a schedule, and emphasize the importance of communication and support.
Would you like more information?
- “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life” by Marshall B. Rosenberg
- “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High” by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzle